


If I Told You

by Mcusekat



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, First Meetings, M/M, Short, based on a movie trope, club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 12:16:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11828574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcusekat/pseuds/Mcusekat
Summary: Using the cliche "If I told you, I'd have to kill you" line in a fic.





	If I Told You

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from [AmethystUnarmed's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystUnarmed/pseuds/AmethystUnarmed) movie trope fic collection. Read theirs as well!

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

 

  Gavin weaved through the crowd of writhing bodies on the dance floor. He had a drink in hand, but he was as sober as a funeral. As much as he enjoyed clubs, this was a business venture. He was here for one reason only, and that reason sat at a table in the very back of the club. He was dressed in normal clothes, sipping quietly on his drink, with his dirty-blonde hair tied up in a bun at the nape of his neck. You couldn’t tell from looking at him that he was the Vagabond. In fact, first impressions would have him believe that he liked sci-fi movies and worked a boring desk job. He was very normal looking, and it almost made Gavin chuckle knowing what he knew about the man. More specifically, knowing how high his kill count was, and how brutal he could be if the job required it, or if his employer requested it.

  “This seat open, luv?” Gavin asked as he slid into the seat across from him. 

  “No,” the man said, frowning at him. 

  Gavin shrugged and smiled. He took his glasses off and hooked them on the front of his shirt. “My name is Gavin,” he said. 

  “I don’t care.”

  “You should.”

  The Vagabond frowned, perhaps suspecting that Gavin wasn’t here to just flirt with him. “What do you want.”

  “I have a job offer for you.”

  The man leaned back in his seat. “How do you know who I am?”

  “You’re difficult to find, but not impossible. You’ll be glad to know that not anyone could track you down, but I’m better than most at what I do.”

  “And what is it that you do?” The Vagabond crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I’m a hacker.” For the purposes of transparency, he added, “I work under the name ‘Vav,’ mostly with the Fake AH Crew, but his is a personal venture of mine. If you do it well I can put in a good name for you with the crew, though.”

  Ryan waved his hand flippantly. “I don’t care about good words.”

  “What about cash?”

  Ryan looked interested, so Gavin continued. 

  “This one should be easy. The target is a man who runs a site on the deep web selling weapons. However, he doesn’t do anything but run the site. His droogs do the dirty work for him. Once he’s gone, they’ll scatter, I don’t give a damn about them. I just want him dead. Kill him, bring me his hard drives, and you’ll have a cool one million in your hands.”

  His eyebrows raised at the number. It was higher than his normal fare, Gavin knew, but money was no object to Gavin, he had plenty of it. 

  “I’m intrigued. Here.” He plucked a napkin from the dispenser on the table and wrote something on it. He handed it to Gavin folded up. “It’s a burner phone, this number only lasts another week. Call me, and we can hash out the details when there isn’t a thousand other pairs of ears to listen in on us.”

  Gavin grinned. “Sounds good then.” He started to get up, but stopped before he fully left the seat. “What’s your name?”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Ryan said.

  “Don’t be like that, I’m not asking for your bleedin’ social security number. For… non-business purposes, I’d love to know your name.” He dropped his voice to something dark and seductive, trying to make clear his intentions. He really was an attractive man. “I mean, surely you came here for a reason.”

  “Listen, if I told you my name, I’d have to kill you,” the Vagabond said with a sort of playful grin. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, my reason for coming here is currently heading towards door. Talk to me when I’m not busy, though. Perhaps something can be arranged.” He smirked at him before slinking into the crowd after a drunk man in a suit.

  Gavin sat on the table and looked at the napkin in his hand. The phone number was neatly written in the middle of the napkin. “Hm,” Gavin said. He carefully folded the napkin and tucked it into his pocket, mentally deciding whether the phone call he made the next day would be for business or for pleasure. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed this story! Or follow me on tumblr at [ Mcusekat ](http://desertsongs.co.vu) ! I'm not super active there but if you send me a message or something I'll see it. Cheers!


End file.
